Hi everyone and Welcome back to the The Code of Style Magazine, and I’m delighted to share with you this post about “The Five Steps to the 50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge”, a challenge set, by the author, Shari Leid.
Everyone has friendships they’ve maintained over the years. But now more than ever in this digital age, it’s too easy to lose the connection you share with those you care about.
The 50/50 Friendship Flow: Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends [Capucia Publishing, October 6, 2020, available here] by Shari Leid offers a conscious path to not only maintain friendships, but to deepen those relationships to support connection, while bringing joy and a sense of purpose to both of you.
The project began in December 2018, when Shari Leid turned 49, a life change that prompted her to seriously consider what she wanted her life to look like — not just at 50 years of age, but also what she wanted her life to be from then on.
From a very young age, Shari Leid was a “checklist” person. The former lawyer-turned-life coach and author did everything “in order”. After high school, she earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, followed by a law degree. Check. She had a successful and busy career as a trial attorney. Check. She married her law school boyfriend. Check. They bought their first home. Check. They became parents to two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. Check. Add a dog, and she was living the perfect checklist life.
Then, she hit her mid-40s.
“I felt a disconnect with the life I was living and my own sense of identity and purpose, I recognized that while I loved my life, I made every big life decision based on who I thought society expected me to be instead of really getting to know who I am and what I have to offer the world.”
Shari Leid
Her 40s were a time for both mental and spiritual growth, much of which stemmed from several significant physical challenges, including a catastrophic car accident. However, the biggest life-changing physical challenge occurred in 2017, when she received a breast cancer diagnosis at age 47, and three months later underwent a double mastectomy. This prompted Shari to take stock of her life and she realised that she had been given the opportunity to live each day to the fullest, a fact which caused her to reflect upon and acknowledge the vast importance of the relationships in her life.
She made it her mission not to allow another year to go by where she did not take the time to sit down one on one with each of her girlfriends to share the meaning that they brought to her life, and she proceeded to make a list of 50 women who she wanted to meet with over the course of one year. Some of the women on the list were longtime friends, others were relatively new acquaintances.
The 50/50 Friendship Flow details the personal challenge the author embarked on by sitting down one-on-one with 50 friends over the course of one year to share the positive impact they had made in her life. Shari reveals that by taking on this meaningful challenge yourself, you will discover everyone you meet is both your teacher and your student, the feelings of happiness and enrichment as you deepen your friendships, and the purpose and life lessons each person has brought into your life.
It tells the stories of women of all ages, ethnicities, economic standing, religions and education levels. Part-inspiring memoir, part-journal, The 50/50 Friendship Flow is designed for you to read a chapter each week and to take action based on the life lesson shared.
“Part of the beauty of your life’s journey is the experience of the constant flow of people who come in and out of your life on a daily basis. Some people stay for a lifetime, others are here for a moment, and some may be in your life for just a chance 30-second meeting. This book is about the power of female friendships. The teachings can come in the form of an inspiration, a life lesson, or a life blessing.”
Shari Leid
She was intentional with whom she chose and purposeful with both the questions she asked and the dialogue that she hoped to have. She listened carefully to the words shared with her, and she spoke to each woman from her heart and soul. She was there to be both the teacher and the student, and her project became so powerful that it evolved into not just a personal endeavour, but a movement — which you now know is called “The 50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge.”
During the 50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge journey, Shari discovered that the gift of one-on-one time with each girlfriend — sharing with her the strength and wisdom that she had brought to her life — often brought her to tears of gratitude, learning, and a deeper human connection than she could have ever imagined. The meetings were even more powerful than she had first thought, and as she posted about these meetings on her personal Facebook page — in a photo album that she named “50 Dates,” the album became increasingly popular and followed by many.
She had thrown a pebble into the ocean, and the waves it made were far-reaching. The 50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge has become a movement and reminds us of the value and importance of relationships and to take time to meet one on one with the people in your life who have inspired you and who you want to deepen your connection with.
So, Shari challenges you to commit to spending time on your significant relationships and she recommends setting up at least 20 one on-one meetings over the course of the year. The challenge does involve a significant commitment in terms of planning, time meeting friends, thought and documenting, so if 20 seems like too many, then ten is fine, and if ten is too much, then even five lives touched is much better than none.
Or you could try 50, as Shari did — or even 52, one meeting per week. Whatever you choose in numbers though, the important thing is to be fully invested in the process and to fully document and record your journey, sharing what they have meant to you and what life lesson you have learned from them (either publicly on social media or in a private journal).
50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge – the five steps
Here are the five steps of the 50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge:
- Set a date for a one on one meeting.
- Set your intentions for the meeting and let go of ego.
- Share your admiration and your observations with your friend
- Ask questions.
- Finally, write it down, take a photo, keep a journal, and capture the moment.
However many people you choose to meet, one thing that I can guarantee is that your life, and theirs, will be made richer and more fulfilled. You can choose to meet them in restaurants or coffee shops or you can simply meet for a walk in the park, so it doesn’t need to cost you anything, except your time, which is the most precious gift you can give.
I hope you enjoyed this article on “The 50/50 Friendship Flow Challenge”, and I encourage you to read the book by Shari Leid (available here)
I’ll be back to share some more articles with you again soon! In the meantime, you can see our other features here.
Julia x
Website: JuliaReesCoaching.com : Instagram: @julia.rees_
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shari Leid received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from the University of Washington in 1992 and graduated from Seattle University School of Law in 1995. A former litigator, she currently owns and operates An Imperfectly Perfect Life, LLC, a professional life coaching business serving women, helping guide them towards recognizing their power. She married her law school boyfriend, and they are the parents of two grown children. Now in her early 50s, she believes all of her life experiences and challenges were placed in her life to allow her to share what she has learned. She lives in Seattle, Washington.
Website: animperfectlyperfectlife.com , Facebook: facebook.com/animperfectlyperfectlife , Instagram: instagram.com/an_imperfectly_perfect_life , Twitter: twitter.com/AnImperfectly , Personal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shari-leid-51a53b10 , Business LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/an-imperfectly-perfect-life/
Tag: #5050FriendshipFlowChallenge
